03 May, 2010

Okay, so basically I need to apologize to you, blog.  And, in a theoretical way, everyone I know, too.   I'm sorry that, recently, my behavior/attitude has included, but not been limited to -  

I'm sorry I whine to you so often, my dear blog. It's not like I don't have other people to whine to - I do. 
 A lovely family who - get this - I actually enjoy being with.  How many people can, or are even willing to say that in this day and age?  I like my parents.  They're funny and wacky and laid back.  I like my sister - a nice kid who lets me take pictures of her and bug her about clothes and how to work the TV.   
I've got a bestie who's heard the same rants about the same things ten thousand times, and listens politely at every new recital. 
I've got a dog.  Kelsey, never underestimate the consoling presence of a dog.  He listens to my teary whines so sweetly. 

So why do I fret to you, blog?  I really am sorry.
I feel guilty when I worry or complain - things could be so much worse. I could be so -and-so dealing with this ailment or that money trouble. But, you know what? I never really feel much better after thinking how much worse things could be. Thank the Lord, at the moment my problems are not as bad as they could be - but they're still there.  Knowing there's worse out there doesn't make my miniscule worries go away. 
But you know what? After going outside, or spending time with a kind, clear-headed friend, or reading a good book, I do feel better.  I feel better when I spend my time reading lovely blogs like The Polished Pickle- it makes me want to jump up and live - just live, intensely.  When I'm again aware of the beauty around me, the little things seem less important.  I'm reminded that, in the scope of it all, my English paper is not really life or death.  And that in twenty years, I will probably remember the beauty days, and not the mediocre ones.  So why don't I just make some effort, and change mediocre days into beauty ones?  Well, Kelsey, why don't you?

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