18 May, 2010

How to write a British Lit essay, AIA* Format

*Amateur Idler Association
Shut bedroom door.

Take off your new shoes because, even though you adore them so much it's difficult to abandon them even when you go to bed, they are not the most comfortable essay-writing footwear.

Perform a short dance before removal.

Clear desk/clean room.

Make playlist of all sappy soundtrack songs you own.

Begin hunting for quotes/sources.  Kill many trees with excessive Post-it note usage.

Ask Shakespeare bust for advice on formatting. 

Receive no answer. 

Spend an entire day writing a ridiculous outline.

Wish to be outside instead.

Actually begin actual writing. Actually finally for realz. 

Force Long-suffering mother to read excessively rough draft and say, "Great, sweetie... what is it?"

Weep, because this is the well-meaning response traditionally given to cruddy poems and hideous artwork, but never before a paper.
Console yourself with ukulele and remind yourself that they are hiring at Wal Mart.

Buy a Starbucks and find yourself completely roused from your apathy.

Write again.

Fall madly in love with Easy Bib.

Turn in, with much fear and trembling, to teacher.  
Wait for grade.


  1. love your dancing shoes.

    this reminds me of when i used to take math tests in high school and i would always grab Pythagorus off of my math teacher's shelf to sit on my desk and keep me company.

    does your bedroom really say "employees only"? that is quite awesome.

  2. That's hilarious! Sometimes you need just need some company.

    Yep, it does. I got it at Home Depot.