16 November, 2011

Nov 1st

I missed Unawareness Day.  I'm so disappointed in myself right now.  Totally forgot to celebrate it.

Which, in a funny kind of way, is appropriate.

15 November, 2011

Welcome to the world, my child.

The other day I went to a concert with a buddy.   And it was, as I told my somewhat bewildered companion afterwards, "a night of epiphanies."


1.  I am 21 years old.  I am a woman.  I am basically an adult (though not necessarily a grown-up).

2. It doesn't matter that I've never heard of the Pixies.  It doesn't matter that I don't know any of these indie bands.  It doesn't matter that I'm not cool.  I don't have to prop up my self-esteem up by thinking twiddly little things like, "oh, well, I probably know way more about Jane Austen than they do," because it just doesn't matter.  (And it might not be true.  Someday I might meet a person who knows more.  I won't say it's impossible, just highly unlikely.)

3. One of the benefits of being out of the loop (see above) is that I get to experience things for the first time as a fairly sentient adult.  This is super fun.

4. I'm doing the right thing, majoring in art.  Choosing a major has been a long, horrifying drama, and every once in a while I still have an angst fest about it all.  But I finally think I'm sure now.  For realz.  I can do good things for the world with this degree.  Going on the dole seems to be the career prospect that would await me if I followed any other path.  And as much as I love to say, "on the dole", doing good things for the world might be more enjoyable. 

5. I can't wait for my life to start anymore.  I can't wait to become things or see things or eat things.  Someday I will get old and won't be able to learn new tricks, flying will be too tiring and my taste buds will be dead.  I need to go now!  I can't wait to make things until after college, when I've supposedly "learned how."  I might get a piano dropped on me tomorrow!  Up! Quick! 

 I swear I listened to the music.

12 November, 2011


1.  Food prep people are not required, at least in my state, to wear gloves.  From what I understand, Subway introduced public glove-wearing to the food prep world, and many businesses have found that they must follow suit or deal with grouchy customers. Many, but not all.

2. If you think something tastes exactly like the stuff you buy from the store, it means that it probably is the stuff you buy from the store.  The only difference is that it is being served to you on a plate and costs four times as much.

3.  Food prep people may be smart outside the workplace, but something snaps in their brains and they become machines on the job. This is why deviations from the standard way of making things seem so absurdly difficult for food prep people to get.  They are.  When you have made fifty sandwiches one way, it is difficult to force your appendages to make it differently.

3b.  As a result, it is always best to chose the item you don't need to change over the one you do.  For instance, say you are trying to decide between a grilled cheese served as-is, and a burger which you will require without the onion, ketchup, lettuce, meat, and pickles.  With the grilled cheese, you have a 87.62 percent chance of having a pleasant, spit-free meal.  With the burger, however, that percentage plummets to a mere 46.52 percent chance. Take your choice.

4. There is no such thing as truly fresh.

04 November, 2011

Questions of the moment:

Okay, but what is anti-folk?

How long is too long in texting?

Why are bad words bad?  How did they get bad?

How is Yellowstone park's seismic health?  Last I read, one side of a lake was bulging ominously.

Where can I find the acrylic paint incantation that I need to be saying to make the actual painting process work?

Is there some complex facet of microevolution that I am overlooking, or is it actually as straightforward as it seems?

How do the French decide the gender of words?

What is the point of fake tanning?

Are my mechanical pencils magical?  What other explanation can there be for the whole "they never run out!" thing?