30 November, 2012
Magic Mouthwash and bleh.
You know, you'd think being sick for a long, long time would have a great number of benefits. Lots of nice food. Parents and boyfriend waiting on you obligingly. Lying in bed and daydreaming that you're a consumptive poet whose greatness will only be realized after your tragically young death.
But there are a surprising number of cons.
1. People don't wait on you. Nor are you allowed to stay in bed for long. Very selfishly, people forget that you're ill and give you homework or make you contribute to the communal living experience and do things like clean up after yourself.
2. You're all weak and tired and then all your relatives and friends who aren't weak and tired go to the rock climbing gym all the time without you and get WAY better at climbing than you. Which just makes you feel worse about yourself.
3. You wear the same pair of socks like five days in a row because you're sleep deprived and forget to change them. And then you loose friends (the definition of friends being people willing to come within a ten-foot radius of you).
But, quite seriously, I've been ill for over three months now with a tenacious and sometimes dreadful viral infection. I shan't go into details, but let me just say that cold sores (or whatever they are) can do fantastically hideous things to you if they want to. Keep on their good side.
The only really enjoyable part of the whole ordeal so far was when during a visit my doctor said, "Okay, I'm going to prescribe you some magic mouthwash." I started to grin but realized he was perfectly serious. And when I got the prescription? Printed on the side was:
MAGIC MOUTHWASH. GARGLE TWICE DAILY.