When I someday make my thunderous slide into financial ruin, I will at least have things to read and listen to on the way down. And I won't have to blame something vague and confusing like the stock market. (Which hopefully means that I will never have to learn anything about the stock market. The only reason I would do so is if I wanted to complain to people about how it did me wrong.) I'll just point a long, bony finger to the bookcase and the ipod and the whole story will be told. I am the most gluttonous book and music buyer I have ever met. I never want to find out how much money I have spent on music downloads. Never, never, never. Knowing without a shadow of a doubt that I could have had a car instead would make me feel too guilty. I like my happy ignorance.
I don't know why I feel more guilty about buying music than I do about buying books. If the books and music I own were sort of graphed together, it would clearly show that the music has got more use. I guess I feel less guilty because books can theoretically make me smarter. The music I listen to can only boost my self-esteem a bit, give me tinnitus and make my brain cells burst in tiny, multi-colored explosions. (According to Bill Bryson, you only get one lump of brain cells - and they don't get re-made or replaced. So I really don't have any to spare for math. I need all the cells I can get for other things. It's vitally important.)
I would like to say that I am making a solemn vow to knot the purse strings and be frugal from now on. No more five dollar amazon albums for you, Kelsey! Put down that paperback! But the honest truth is, I don't feel particularly repentant. At all.
Wait a moment, I thought I felt... No, not a bit.
Now that I can practically smell my own room approaching (29 days to closing), I have decided to recommend a bit of prudence to myself. Just suggested it. You know, avoid buying tatty paperbacks of The Complete Works of Sophocles just because I know I ought to read it, and instead go for things I know I will read for sure. Right now my bookcase gives off a much stronger aura of well-read girl than I actually deserve - I've bought stacks of learned looking paperbacks en masse at sales and never got around to reading them. Shameful, but there it is.
So, when I go to the library sale this weekend, I solemnly swear that I will not to grab every book I see, nor will I purchase any of the dubious "surprise" boxes that I know, deep down, will mostly contain murderously boring old textbooks. I swear. Or may I be chopped up and made into soup.
I must impose some moderation. Otherwise it's all going to end in some sort of turn on the body in the library theme.