04 February, 2010

Random is an overused word

I wrote this last night at about 3 in the morning.  Translation: so who knows if it makes any sense.

It is obscenely late, but I've got some blathering to do.
The reason I'm up this late is not because I drank a whole cup of Big Train Chai - a singularly delightful beverage containing 8,000 calories a cup and about a zillion hours of eye-twitching, caffeinated energy -  but because there are ten million great blogs out there which I must review.  If they are worth a read, they are also usually worth a comment too, and sometimes - this is rare but still possible - worth following as well.  Understandably, this reviewing process takes time. So it's all these other blogs' faults that I can't get to sleep at a reasonable hour.  I'd go to bed if I could. Truly.  But I'm resigned to my fate.

Recently, I have spent many a happy hour scrolling through baby name websites, recalling the names of favorite book characters and sitting on a log, bashing my fist against my forehead while shouting, "think, think, think!"
Why, you might reasonably ask?
Answer! Daily Double!

Because I recently realized that, if I ever become famous, I will need a stage name.  "Need" because no human being on earth can pronounce my last name.  At least, not with confidence or without butchering it.  Famous people - according to Wikipedia - usually change cumbersome names so fans will be able to say and spell without fear.  If I decide to become famous when I grow up - it's either that or own a bookshop with a Starbucks attached, I can't choose - I would probably need a different last name.   I can't reliably spell my surname; once, in elementary school, during an SAT test (not the best situation for me to begin with) I suddenly thought, dropping my pencil in shock, "what if I've been spelling my last name wrong all theses years and everyone else is actually right?!" I ended up agonizing over the PRINT NAME section for twenty minutes while all the other eight year olds gave me venomous looks, evil vibes steaming from their pores.
You have my permission to point and laugh.


  1. Not necessarily - the Gyllenhaals seem to manage!

  2. True! Maybe there is yet hope for the last name!