The other day I went to a concert with a buddy. And it was, as I told my somewhat bewildered companion afterwards, "a night of epiphanies."
SOME OF THE STUFF I REALIZED DURING SAID CONCERT:
1. I am 21 years old. I am a woman. I am basically an adult (though not necessarily a grown-up).
2. It doesn't matter that I've never heard of the Pixies. It doesn't matter that I don't know any of these indie bands. It doesn't matter that I'm not cool. I don't have to prop up my self-esteem up by thinking twiddly little things like, "oh, well, I probably know way more about Jane Austen than they do," because it just doesn't matter. (And it might not be true. Someday I might meet a person who knows more. I won't say it's impossible, just highly unlikely.)
3. One of the benefits of being out of the loop (see above) is that I get to experience things for the first time as a fairly sentient adult. This is super fun.
4. I'm doing the right thing, majoring in art. Choosing a major has been a long, horrifying drama, and every once in a while I still have an angst fest about it all. But I finally think I'm sure now. For realz. I can do good things for the world with this degree. Going on the dole seems to be the career prospect that would await me if I followed any other path. And as much as I love to say, "on the dole", doing good things for the world might be more enjoyable.
5. I can't wait for my life to start anymore. I can't wait to become things or see things or eat things. Someday I will get old and won't be able to learn new tricks, flying will be too tiring and my taste buds will be dead. I need to go now! I can't wait to make things until after college, when I've supposedly "learned how." I might get a piano dropped on me tomorrow! Up! Quick!
I swear I listened to the music.