Technically this isn't whining.
It's really rather appalling to realize how many girls actually go to college looking to get their Mrs. degree. (Did you see the funny joke there? Because it was hilarious, I tell you!) I mean, astonishing. All I can think is, "jeez, that's an expensive way to meet a husband." But you know what? Until about eight hours ago, I never stopped to think that when I worried about the possibility of missing out on the "college experience" by living at home instead of going away to school, I was basically saying "I think it might be worth six thousand dollars a year to be forced to make friends with people who, in ordinary circumstances, I might never associate with." Twelve thousand dollars is an awful lot to pay for friends.
Lately, I've really come to see how very, very pleasant and freeing it would be to be able to finish college debt-free, or at least owing amounts in the thousands instead of the ten, twenty and thirty thousands. If I have student loans to pay back, I can't expect to be able to just drop everything and drive off to Montana on a whim. And I really do want to drive off to Montana one day soon. I also really want to move to England and wear wellies when I go foraging in the countryside. How will I ever do these things if I can't take risks? If I'm tied down by that monthly payment? I know things can't just be dropped, but isn't the disentangling and setting things down less complicated if money isn't as big an issue? Did that even make one crumb of sense?
Whether it did or not, it really makes sense to me at the moment.
And college is what you make of it, isn't it?
I use too many commas and over-think everything, but at least... at least... (need something positive here) at least I knew like three years ago that Oxford shoes were going to come in. I even bought ridiculously expensive men's dress shoes, trying to get that sort of Oxford-wingtip-brogue-sixties look. That gives me great personal satisfaction. (And gives the world a little glimpse into the reason why the people at Hillsdale didn't seem as eager as they might have to number me among their student body. I never applied, but I think I could have guessed the outcome if I had. Good thing I don't care.)