FOUR AND A HALF THINGS I HAVE LEARNED WORKING IN FOOD SERVICE

1.  Food prep people are not required, at least in my state, to wear gloves.  From what I understand, Subway introduced public glove-wearing to the food prep world, and many businesses have found that they must follow suit or deal with grouchy customers. Many, but not all.

2. If you think something tastes exactly like the stuff you buy from the store, it means that it probably is the stuff you buy from the store.  The only difference is that it is being served to you on a plate and costs four times as much.

3.  Food prep people may be smart outside the workplace, but something snaps in their brains and they become machines on the job. This is why deviations from the standard way of making things seem so absurdly difficult for food prep people to get.  They are.  When you have made fifty sandwiches one way, it is difficult to force your appendages to make it differently.

3b.  As a result, it is always best to chose the item you don't need to change over the one you do.  For instance, say you are trying to decide between a grilled cheese served as-is, and a burger which you will require without the onion, ketchup, lettuce, meat, and pickles.  With the grilled cheese, you have a 87.62 percent chance of having a pleasant, spit-free meal.  With the burger, however, that percentage plummets to a mere 46.52 percent chance. Take your choice.

4. There is no such thing as truly fresh.