"Not long after I moved with my family..."

I did something mildly awesome a few weeks ago.

Yeah.  I saw Bill Bryson. That's who that is. And that grinning idiot next to him is me.

How, you might reasonably ask, did I manage to do this in Arkansas?  Well, Mr. Bryson gave a reading at University of Arkansas in Fayetteville. I had no idea that he was visiting.  My mom told me the saturday before that I had to get all my homework done because we were going somewhere on Monday.  I did so, and we drove for three hours.  When we got into the auditorium I was ordered to look down at the floor.  I was told afterwords that people were carrying books around for signing.  I have excellent self-control, however, and didn't see.  I didn't know what was going on until a guy got up and said, "And now, Bill Bryson." 

It was great.  Unless I sit next to an extremely voluble Emma Thompson on a very long plane flight, it was the high point of my life. 

So, that's all for now.


P.S. I am not actually that geeky looking.  The, uh, lighting was bad.  In real life I am remarkably attractive in an ugly sort of way. 

Well, I have only one vaguely interesting thing to say: I am writing this on a mac.  I'ms sure you noticed, dear blog, that my cool points have increased exponentially.  Also, typing on such an aesthetically pleasing machine has automatically made my writing better.  Obviously.

Besides the news about my newly attained cool points, I have nothing to tell.  On a whim I dyed my hair brownish while staying with Grandma and Grandpa in Ohio.  I gained 4 pounds over thanksgiving, which is disgusting.  I bought myself a thesaurus and the complete Hitchhiker's Guide book - the one that's all five books in one.  I watched movies this evening.  My life is fantastically boring right now.  I should probably be glad about this, but I'm not.  I might go take a bath. Though I've nearly taken all the baths I can justify. (Whoever among my imaginary readers gets that nerdy reference wins a prize! I mean it!)

Honestly, there was no reason for me to write this at all.  I just wanted something to do that did not involve homework.

Welcome, my brethren, to the Natural State

A couple of weeks ago, my family piled into the car and drove about three hours to a little town called Mountain View.

One of the joys of living in an apartment is that we can do this stuff, drive off on the weekends whenever we feel like it.  But anyways, we drove to Mountain View for what we thought would be a small local festival with  maybe a couple of hundred people in attendance.
We were rather surprised to find that around 50,000 people pay a visit to this event every year.
Apparently, the Bean Fest and Outhouse Races are a bigger deal than we'd thought.
Yes, you read that right.  The Mountain View Bean Fest and Outhouse Races.  It. Was. Awesome.

This gentleman kindly posed for a picture, bless him.

This guy had no choice.

The races were, without doubt the high point of the event.  Two outhouses ran at a time, with two pushers and a driver.  It actually looked pretty hard. There were multiple divisions, too.  Altogether a magnificent afternoon.  My face hurt I smiled so much. It was absolutely worth the drive.

Happy Unawareness Day!

Almost missed this momentous holiday last year. 

Please allow me the honor of wishing you and yours a very happy Unawareness Day.

God bless the idlers, every one.

Happy Thunderbolt Kid Day!

This may have been, like, a one-time thing, but in 2006 the mayor of Des Moines, Iowa declared this day "Bill Bryson,The Thunderbolt Kid, Day".  All those commas are actually in the title.  For some reason it seems excessive to me, but I can't think how you could do it otherwise.  I don't care if it was supposedly only Thunderbolt Kid Day in 2006 - I celebrate regardless.

This day we celebrate the genius of Bill Bryson.  Mr. Bryson, your books alone have extended the life spans of readerly people by ten years at least if laughing is as good for us as Prevention magazine says it is. Your efforts to save rural England and put an end to littering are equally commendable.  Thank you for everything, especially Katz. 

Boasting is fun

Yes!
I am freakishly proud of myself right now!
Why, you ask?
Because, my dear Watson, I just re-strung my ukulele all by myself.  Without anyone else's assistance.  On me own.  No help.
Well, several videos on Youtube helped, but that doesn't count for some reason.  It's not like they actually took the ukulele out of my hands and did one string right as an example.  So there.
I had honestly expected that the evening would end in tears and that a second trip to Alan's (the most wonderful music shop on earth. Or at least in La Mesa, California) would be made tomorrow to beg the nice shop men for help.  I bought the strings at Alan's - Aquila, baby - and stroked the very nice ukuleles they sell while my sister bought a piece of sheet music - ten pages long! - for "Rhapsody in Blue".  It was lovely.
Unfortunately, I have no idea what to do with the ends of the strings. They are, at present, sticking out everywhere (and they poke me in the arm when I play) - but I coiled them up as neatly as possible and will figure out what to do someday.  I hope.  Things always seem to sort themselves out with time.  Or they don't. Life goes on.

postscript